I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
