had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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