hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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