So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
