Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
