"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
