We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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