Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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