just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
