we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Found the puke drawer
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
