Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
