waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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