i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
