He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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