I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
