I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
