And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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