Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
