how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
