So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
