If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
