My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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