Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Do vagina's smell?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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