Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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