you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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