Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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