I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
