im drinking this country out of the recession.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
