i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
