Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
