I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just want to make out with him forever
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
