I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i think i have herpe
just one?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
