you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
