I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
