oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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