i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
