he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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