he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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