Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
