I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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