lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i permit you to call me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
