Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
