Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
