All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So here I am, sexting at work.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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