just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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