Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
