I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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