you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
