You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
