piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
