I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
