Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
